Outside In: Exploring Work-Life Balance in Denmark

I’ve been in Denmark since 2004 and am married to a Dane. No kids but we have three cats! I work in information security.

In my free time, I enjoy the standard things like friends, family, dining out, traveling, and…triathlons. That’s more of a lifestyle-thing than a competition-thing. I see myself as a citizen of the world, so I’m always interested in learning!

I live with my girlfriend and we recently got a dog.

I love the United States; a huge part of my travels in life have been with my girlfriend in the US. I even lived in San Francisco.

I’m a wine enthusiast and I’m passionate about minimalist Scandinavian design, sneakers, and LEGO.

I’ve been in Denmark since 2004 and am married to a Dane. No kids but we have three cats! I work in information security.

In my free time, I enjoy the standard things like friends, family, dining out, traveling, and…triathlons. That’s more of a lifestyle-thing than a competition-thing. I see myself as a citizen of the world, so I’m always interested in learning!

I live with my girlfriend and we recently got a dog.

I love the United States; a huge part of my travels in life have been with my girlfriend in the US. I even lived in San Francisco.

I’m a wine enthusiast and I’m passionate about minimalist Scandinavian design, sneakers, and LEGO.

My normal work week was 37 hours before COVID-19. It’s now about 44-45 hours on a pretty regular basis. It’s been difficult finding the work-life balance when I’m working from home all the time, and I can’t really go out or separate myself from work.

Things that I took for granted when I was in the office are different when I’m at home. I’ve had to do things like make a recurring appointment for lunch, just so I make sure I keep that regular schedule. So things are a little different right now.

I got worse at taking breaks during the pandemic. My normal schedule sort of slipped away, so my girlfriend and I began incorporating mandatory time for each other and rest time.

After I changed jobs and got a puppy, my working hours dropped significantly and my priorities shifted to spend time with the dog and my girlfriend. My average work week dropped to 50-60 hours/week.

My normal work week was 37 hours before COVID-19. It’s now about 44-45 hours on a pretty regular basis. It’s been difficult finding the work-life balance when I’m working from home all the time, and I can’t really go out or separate myself from work.

Things that I took for granted when I was in the office are different when I’m at home. I’ve had to do things like make a recurring appointment for lunch, just so I make sure I keep that regular schedule. So things are a little different right now.

I got worse at taking breaks during the pandemic. My normal schedule sort of slipped away, so my girlfriend and I began incorporating mandatory time for each other and rest time.

After I changed jobs and got a puppy, my working hours dropped significantly and my priorities shifted to spend time with the dog and my girlfriend. My average work week dropped to 50-60 hours/week.

People [in Denmark] understand that work-life balance is really important. They’re more apt to be in-tune with how you’re feeling about work. Like, how’s your workload? I think that’s good; you feel like you have more freedom to do your work in your own time. You don’t have to sit in the office until six in the evening.

People understand when your work is done, you can go home. I stayed at work quite late when I first started working in Denmark. The boss came by and said, “why are you still here?” I was like, “ I just have some things I can I need to finish before tomorrow.” And he said, “Is anything an emergency?” “No.” “So, it can wait until tomorrow?” “Yes.” “Go home.” In the US, the boss would just say, “see you tomorrow!”

Overall, I would say that the work-life balance [in Denmark] is extremely good in the sense that you’re able to leave early, have time with your family, have time to do your sports, or social life, or whatever it is. If you choose to work overtime, then usually it’s your own decision, not the only option.

A position at a start-up usually requires more hours, but I would say that most of them are pretty flexible today. And you can plan your day as you want to, so if you have have kids or if for some reason you need to work from home, you can make those arrangements.

Employers are generally extremely flexible in terms of how you can organize your day. There’s a certain amount of trust in the employee, as long as the communication is good, which is pretty common in any [Danish] company.

People [in Denmark] understand that work-life balance is really important. They’re more apt to be in-tune with how you’re feeling about work. Like, how’s your workload? I think that’s good; you feel like you have more freedom to do your work in your own time. You don’t have to sit in the office until six in the evening.

People understand when your work is done, you can go home. I stayed at work quite late when I first started working in Denmark. The boss came by and said, “why are you still here?” I was like, “ I just have some things I can I need to finish before tomorrow.” And he said, “Is anything an emergency?” “No.” “So, it can wait until tomorrow?” “Yes.” “Go home.” In the US, the boss would just say, “see you tomorrow!”

Overall, I would say that the work-life balance [in Denmark] is extremely good in the sense that you’re able to leave early, have time with your family, have time to do your sports, or social life, or whatever it is. If you choose to work overtime, then usually it’s your own decision, not the only option.

A position at a start-up usually requires more hours, but I would say that most of them are pretty flexible today. And you can plan your day as you want to, so if you have have kids or if for some reason you need to work from home, you can make those arrangements.

Employers are generally extremely flexible in terms of how you can organize your day. There’s a certain amount of trust in the employee, as long as the communication is good, which is pretty common in any [Danish] company.

[Yes, in New York City.] I did not have work-life balance in the US. Whether I worked 40 hours or 60 hours, I was paid for 40 hours.

In fact, I was on-call every two weeks and the only time I could do customer changes was Saturday at 11:00 pm until Sunday at 7:00 am.

Even worse, I had two weeks of vacation each year [compared to Denmark’s six weeks]. After 10 years, I would have three weeks; after 20 years, four weeks of vacation.

Sometimes it was mandated that we take two weeks at the end of the year, which meant no actual vacation for the next fiscal year!

My days in the US were pretty long in the beginning. On average I was working 70-90 hours per week.

I moved there without my girlfriend, so the only people I knew were my colleagues. The first couple of months were tough; I ate both breakfast and dinner at the office.

The US work environment is very competitive, especially in San Francisco in a start-up. I didn’t really have time to get familiar with the city and meet new people. That, in turn, made it really hard to feel energized.

[Yes, in New York City.] I did not have work-life balance in the US. Whether I worked 40 hours or 60 hours, I was paid for 40 hours.

In fact, I was on-call every two weeks and the only time I could do customer changes was Saturday at 11:00 pm until Sunday at 7:00 am.

Even worse, I had two weeks of vacation each year [compared to Denmark’s six weeks]. After 10 years, I would have three weeks; after 20 years, four weeks of vacation.

Sometimes it was mandated that we take two weeks at the end of the year, which meant no actual vacation for the next fiscal year!

My days in the US were pretty long in the beginning. On average I was working 70-90 hours per week.

I moved there without my girlfriend, so the only people I knew were my colleagues. The first couple of months were tough; I ate both breakfast and dinner at the office.

The US work environment is very competitive, especially in San Francisco in a start-up. I didn’t really have time to get familiar with the city and meet new people. That, in turn, made it really hard to feel energized.

I work in information security; it’s a field where you’re constantly educating yourself. Sometimes you need to take a step back and say, I have a weekend off, I’m not reading anything work-related or career-related. I’m just going to take it easy, maybe I’ll go out and meet some friends, or travel for a long weekend; just turn off my brain.

I have gone as far as deleting all my work apps from my phone so I can’t really check out.

In my old job, I was so focused on work that I went to the office at 7:30 am every morning and went home at midnight or 1 am. I did that on repeat for a year until I became concerned about my health.

I also wanted to spend time with friends. I needed time to relax, spend time with the family and friends, go out to see Copenhagen, and just enjoy life.

I work in information security; it’s a field where you’re constantly educating yourself. Sometimes you need to take a step back and say, I have a weekend off, I’m not reading anything work-related or career-related. I’m just going to take it easy, maybe I’ll go out and meet some friends, or travel for a long weekend; just turn off my brain.

I have gone as far as deleting all my work apps from my phone so I can’t really check out.

In my old job, I was so focused on work that I went to the office at 7:30 am every morning and went home at midnight or 1 am. I did that on repeat for a year until I became concerned about my health.

I also wanted to spend time with friends. I needed time to relax, spend time with the family and friends, go out to see Copenhagen, and just enjoy life.

Obviously it’s not my full-time job, but to be committed to your own physical fitness is more of a lifestyle.

My hobby is freelance engineering. Since I took my new position, though, I haven’t felt the need to do much freelance. These days, I would rather not open my laptop after-hours. I just want to make sure to enjoy my spare time.

Obviously it’s not my full-time job, but to be committed to your own physical fitness is more of a lifestyle.

My hobby is freelance engineering. Since I took my new position, though, I haven’t felt the need to do much freelance. These days, I would rather not open my laptop after-hours. I just want to make sure to enjoy my spare time.

The other thing is my mood. If I’m working all the time and not getting enough sleep, I’m not my normal self. I’m a pretty easygoing, calm person. If I’m feeling easily irritated, I need to notice that. Often I feel stress in physical ways. For example, if I’m having a lot of headaches, or my eyes are tired, I know I need slow down and disconnect.

For getting back on track, the most important thing is letting my body rest.

Then when I go do something with my wife or my friends, I just don’t think about work or working out.

That was what made me realize I was in an unsafe work environment. So I quit.

I think that experience has given me the ability to be more aware of when things are out of balance and correct it quickly.

When I started the new job, I made sure not to have additional stress factors. For the first two months, I didn’t have my work email connected to my phone.

In addition, I rarely use my laptop anymore. It used to be a constant reminder of work; I did a big freelance engineering case before I started my new job, so I was on my computer all the time.

Now when I open it up to have a chat with friends or look at real estate listings or something, I’m not so tempted to work, because I’ve had that long break. I don’t associate it with work anymore, and that’s given me some balance.

The other thing is my mood. If I’m working all the time and not getting enough sleep, I’m not my normal self. I’m a pretty easygoing, calm person. If I’m feeling easily irritated, I need to notice that. Often I feel stress in physical ways. For example, if I’m having a lot of headaches, or my eyes are tired, I know I need slow down and disconnect.

For getting back on track, the most important thing is letting my body rest.

Then when I go do something with my wife or my friends, I just don’t think about work or working out.

That was what made me realize I was in an unsafe work environment. So I quit.

I think that experience has given me the ability to be more aware of when things are out of balance and correct it quickly.

When I started the new job, I made sure not to have additional stress factors. For the first two months, I didn’t have my work email connected to my phone.

In addition, I rarely use my laptop anymore. It used to be a constant reminder of work; I did a big freelance engineering case before I started my new job, so I was on my computer all the time.

Now when I open it up to have a chat with friends or look at real estate listings or something, I’m not so tempted to work, because I’ve had that long break. I don’t associate it with work anymore, and that’s given me some balance.

Back home, we have a very rugged individualism, which is really good for a lot of things. Unfortunately, the negative side of that is that if you’re poor, if you’re uneducated, if you don’t have health care, it’s “your fault.”

[The thinking goes], if you just made more of an effort, you would be in a better situation. Of course, that isn’t the reality.

In Denmark, it’s pretty clear that the community comes before the individual in most cases. And this is why you have higher taxes, but university is free and health care is free. There are certain basic things that I really consider to be the rights of citizens, which is not the same back home. I think everything kind of starts from that place.

If you have a community, you can’t have everyone trying to stand out on their own (called the law of Jante), because that will destroy the social fabric, right? The social fabric is everyone woven together, and too many people standing out can ruin that. I’ve noticed, though, that outlook is starting to change a bit.

In general, people in Denmark don’t question certain things, such as everyone having access to health care or to education, which is not the case in the US. The same goes for what’s most important in your life. Is your value based on your work, or is your value based on other things? In Denmark, your value is based on who you are as a person. It’s not based on money or success. [You have value] as a citizen, which I think is a more healthy way of looking at things. [And that shapes work-life balance].

But it all comes from the Danish culture, so the cultural elements of work-life balance, universal health care, education, trying to accept others (at least on the surface), is what I think may be quite different [than the US]. When you get below the surface, things can be a bit more challenging. That’s the case everywhere; no place is perfect.

My relationship with Denmark is, of course, shaped by the fact that I’m an American who lives in Denmark. Plus, I only know Copenhagen; in more rural areas of Denmark, it might be more different. I’ve heard that people like myself, people of color, who live in rural areas, don’t have it so easy. It’s probably one of the reasons why we congregate in large cities. It’s not only because we have this cosmopolitan lifestyle, but also because people in larger cities tend to be more accepting of diversity.

Welfare ensures money for unemployment benefits, health care, education, and so many other things. In terms of Danish values, the idea of family, friends, and especially your kids, being important, is normal in the workplace.

This means that companies often don’t get upset if you leave early to pick up your kids from school, or take a long weekend to go see a family members that live outside of the city.

You doesn’t necessarily have to be “ambitious” and work 16 hours a day in order to climb the ranks. Danish companies actually value, and will hire, people who have a social life, because they see that as an important element of a person.

Back home, we have a very rugged individualism, which is really good for a lot of things. Unfortunately, the negative side of that is that if you’re poor, if you’re uneducated, if you don’t have health care, it’s “your fault.”

[The thinking goes], if you just made more of an effort, you would be in a better situation. Of course, that isn’t the reality.

In Denmark, it’s pretty clear that the community comes before the individual in most cases. And this is why you have higher taxes, but university is free and health care is free. There are certain basic things that I really consider to be the rights of citizens, which is not the same back home. I think everything kind of starts from that place.

If you have a community, you can’t have everyone trying to stand out on their own (calledJ the law of Jante), because that will destroy the social fabric, right? The social fabric is everyone woven together, and too many people standing out can ruin that. I’ve noticed, though, that outlook is starting to change a bit.

In general, people in Denmark don’t question certain things, such as everyone having access to health care or to education, which is not the case in the US. The same goes for what’s most important in your life. Is your value based on your work, or is your value based on other things? In Denmark, your value is based on who you are as a person. It’s not based on money or success. [You have value] as a citizen, which I think is a more healthy way of looking at things. [And that shapes work-life balance].

But it all comes from the Danish culture, so the cultural elements of work-life balance, universal health care, education, trying to accept others (at least on the surface), is what I think may be quite different [than the US]. When you get below the surface, things can be a bit more challenging. That’s the case everywhere; no place is perfect.

My relationship with Denmark is, of course, shaped by the fact that I’m an American who lives in Denmark. Plus, I only know Copenhagen; in more rural areas of Denmark, it might be more different. I’ve heard that people like myself, people of color, who live in rural areas, don’t have it so easy. It’s probably one of the reasons why we congregate in large cities. It’s not only because we have this cosmopolitan lifestyle, but also because people in larger cities tend to be more accepting of diversity.

Welfare ensures money for unemployment benefits, health care, education, and so many other things. In terms of Danish values, the idea of family, friends, and especially your kids, being important, is normal in the workplace.

This means that companies often don’t get upset if you leave early to pick up your kids from school, or take a long weekend to go see a family members that live outside of the city.

You doesn’t necessarily have to be “ambitious” and work 16 hours a day in order to climb the ranks. Danish companies actually value, and will hire, people who have a social life, because they see that as an important element of a person.